I'm sitting on the couch in our basement, cross-legged in my black, lazy yoga pants. The computer is rested on my lap, a dirty chai sits just to my right and the Alabama/Oklahoma bowl game is on TV. Next to my dirty chai sits a glass container full of 20+ pens and the little dog is nestled next to me under a blanket.
This, my friends, is close to my heaven on earth. Close. Well, not really, but this is definitely something I could get used to. The last three days, I have actually slept in for the first time in forever. And not just slept in, but pretty much slept the entire morning away. I can't say I love it, but it has definitely felt glorious and I've enjoyed it.
2013 was a great year. I love looking through the timeline of Facebook posts or my Instagram photos and seeing all the moments shared, with very special people in my life. I'm looking forward to this upcoming year and sharing even more memories together with you.
For those of you who are wanting to follow more of what Paul and I are doing with Tiny Hands, I invite you to like our page on Facebook "YatesTHI". We have made so many connections with advocates from all across the country, people who are doing A-MAZING things for Tiny Hands on behalf of the girls and boys in Nepal, India and Bangladesh. We would love to be able to keep you updated with what's going on and introduce you to them as well and what they're up to. You can either follow this link if you'd like to (https://www.facebook.com/pages/YatesTHI/288041628504) or search "YatesTHI" on Facebook.
Happy New Year!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
I Will Never Lose...
I have a thing about handwriting. It's not quite to the level of obsession, but if handwriting was a person, I would probably Facebook stalk it. I feel like I don't truly know someone fully, nor can we fully be invested in our friendship, if I haven't seen what their handwriting looks like. When I get a handwritten note from someone, opposed to a Facebook wall post or a text or email, OH BABY! I will keep that paper for life. FOR LIFE, I SAY!!!!! (I hope that had the dramatic effect to anyone reading this that I had in my own head. Cuz it was awesome).
Over this last month, I have been looking over different notes that people have written me that I've kept. More specifically, I have been looking over cards from Sherri, my "second mom", who passed away back on December 18th. For me, she was the first person close to me that I've lost. I mean close, close. One of my favorite parts to date, and something I will always remember, was when we were all meeting to plan her funeral and I was able to thumb through the pages of her Bible and see her handwritten notes in the margins and blank pages of her Bible. Like candy to my eyes.
Today, I was met with yet another surreal feeling when I went to her house for the first time since she passed. Her handwriting was all over the place...on her calendar, on slips of paper, on reminders for doctor's appointments and recipes and much more. I noticed a journal on the nightstand by her bed. I didn't want to snoop, but my curiosity wanted to see how much she wrote. The journal ended up being a make-do guest book for the last time she had heart surgery back in 2004. Notes were written to her by many of her close friends as she laid in the ICU and we weren't sure if she would pull through back then.
On a single sheet of paper separate from the bound pages, small snippets were written in her handwriting. Things like "I need to settle down" and "do you have any gum?" and "aren't you surprised that they let reconciliation get so far behind?!" These were words she wrote, things she wanted to communicate while the tube in her throat prevented her sweet speech from being heard. But there was one word written, followed by a boxy exclamation point done only in Sherri-form, that caught my attention the most.
The word: UNDEFEATED!
Now, I have no idea what conversation took place (if any) that led her to write that word. My guess was that it very easily could have been about one of her grandchildren that she was so proud of, and their athletic success of being undefeated. But to me, I read it differently, almost as a message that I was supposed to receive (and needed to read. I read that word and it hit me. Undefeated....some of the definitions that relate to the word are "to overcome in a battle" or "to eliminate or deprive of something expected" or "not having been beaten or overcome".
Reading this word, I was reminded that God promises us that the seeming finality of death does not hold the final victory. Death never has the final word. EVER. Which means we are promised to always be champions and overcomers. Undefeated, always. I wonder what life would look like for Christians if we actually chose to live in this confidence. It actually reminded me also of these verses:
2 Corinthians 4:8-12
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."
Today, I choose to live in the confidence of knowing that nothing, not even death, will have victory over me. In life, I have the opportunity to live FOR Christ. In death, I have the privilege to live WITH Christ. There truly is no way to lose.
Over this last month, I have been looking over different notes that people have written me that I've kept. More specifically, I have been looking over cards from Sherri, my "second mom", who passed away back on December 18th. For me, she was the first person close to me that I've lost. I mean close, close. One of my favorite parts to date, and something I will always remember, was when we were all meeting to plan her funeral and I was able to thumb through the pages of her Bible and see her handwritten notes in the margins and blank pages of her Bible. Like candy to my eyes.
Today, I was met with yet another surreal feeling when I went to her house for the first time since she passed. Her handwriting was all over the place...on her calendar, on slips of paper, on reminders for doctor's appointments and recipes and much more. I noticed a journal on the nightstand by her bed. I didn't want to snoop, but my curiosity wanted to see how much she wrote. The journal ended up being a make-do guest book for the last time she had heart surgery back in 2004. Notes were written to her by many of her close friends as she laid in the ICU and we weren't sure if she would pull through back then.
On a single sheet of paper separate from the bound pages, small snippets were written in her handwriting. Things like "I need to settle down" and "do you have any gum?" and "aren't you surprised that they let reconciliation get so far behind?!" These were words she wrote, things she wanted to communicate while the tube in her throat prevented her sweet speech from being heard. But there was one word written, followed by a boxy exclamation point done only in Sherri-form, that caught my attention the most.
The word: UNDEFEATED!
Now, I have no idea what conversation took place (if any) that led her to write that word. My guess was that it very easily could have been about one of her grandchildren that she was so proud of, and their athletic success of being undefeated. But to me, I read it differently, almost as a message that I was supposed to receive (and needed to read. I read that word and it hit me. Undefeated....some of the definitions that relate to the word are "to overcome in a battle" or "to eliminate or deprive of something expected" or "not having been beaten or overcome".
Reading this word, I was reminded that God promises us that the seeming finality of death does not hold the final victory. Death never has the final word. EVER. Which means we are promised to always be champions and overcomers. Undefeated, always. I wonder what life would look like for Christians if we actually chose to live in this confidence. It actually reminded me also of these verses:
2 Corinthians 4:8-12
"We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that His life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."
Today, I choose to live in the confidence of knowing that nothing, not even death, will have victory over me. In life, I have the opportunity to live FOR Christ. In death, I have the privilege to live WITH Christ. There truly is no way to lose.
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
This is just the beginning ...
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| She's almost as tall as me!!! |
So this morning, I sit here in the quiet of my house as the dogs lounge around, clearly exhausted from an entire night of sleep, and my sweet son (who starts school tomorrow) is snuggled up right next to me, playing his Hay Day game. He's a little bit more, shall we say, attached. Okay, so he's a mama's boy. Shut up. In fact, if any tears were shed this morning while Taylyn walked up to her school with her friends, it was from TJ. He's my tenderhearted one.
So, here's to a new school year officially beginning and the summer coming to an end.
Some of you may be wondering how things turned out for the end of the 10 week fitness challenge we just completed at Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping. First of all, thank you to everyone who encouraged us. I thought I would share just a few snippets with our results (which we were pretty excited about).
First of all, we didn't win the $1,000. It's ironic, because when we first signed up, winning the money was MY ONLY goal. And literally the only reason I wanted to win the money so badly was because I wanted to get the money back we paid to sign up in the first place so Paul wouldn't doubt that it was a good decision on my part.
As the weeks went on, the money prize became less substantial as we began seeing results AND I could see the change in Paul and how much he was actually loving it. That said, the exciting part for us is that we actually both ended up in the Top 5 finalists and (from what I heard), they had to vote 3 separate times between Paul and the winner. So it was close. But regardless of that, THIS PROGRAM is a winner. It delivers proven results!
Okay, so these are some of the final results for Paul and I:
Paul lost almost 7 pounds. He's down 3% body fat and lost 3" in both his waist and his hips and he took one minute and 15 seconds off his one mile time. He started out being able to do 35 pushups (MAN pushups, mind you...Wristen) and 25 sit-ups in one minute. By the end, he did 85 pushups in one minute and 42 sit-ups.
For me, I lost exactly 10 lbs. I'm also down 3% body fat and lost 3"in my waist, hips and chest. I even lost an inch and a half in my thighs. My pushups went from 34 to 75 in one minute and my sit-ups increased from 28 to 39.
I'm not sharing this to brag, but I will admit I am very proud of the accomplishment because it came with hard work. Funny thing is, the hard work was actually quite fun. The reason I share these results and excitement with you is that I know there are many of you out there wanting to change this part of your life. And now, Paul and I can speak from personal experience and tell you that this program is not only worth it, but it's proven. And that's just 10 short weeks. We have made some significant lifestyle changes that we can tell will follow us much beyond the 10 week program. Nutritionally, I learned things I had never even considered. In fact, throughout the 10 weeks, I literally had to convince myself to eat MORE. I don't remember one time when my stomach growled from hunger because I was eating six times a day! My craving for pop, which never went away anytime I would just "diet" or give it up, was almost non existent. I didn't deprive myself of the foods I loved, I only allowed them at certain times and on certain days.
I'm asking any of you who want to make that change to give it good thought. You have roughly 8-10 weeks now to think about it before the next session begins. All I ask is that you don't try to talk yourself out of it. You DO have time, you DO have the ability and you DO have the will. Don't be afraid to give me a shout if you want more info. You can email me at kaseykyates@gmail.com or you can send me a message on Facebook (that's how most of us communicate in the first place). Start living life at Level Ten!!!
Friday, August 9, 2013
Ten Week Gamble - Life at Level 10
Ten weeks ago, I made one of the biggest financial gambles (and executive decisions) in my almost 13 year marriage to Paul. Many things factored into the decision, most of which I won't take the time to share (mostly just to spare you the boredom of how my thought process works). It was risky and I knew it would take time commitment and dedication on both of our parts to make sure this decision was not one made in vain.
Also, what I'm going to share with you today is easily one of THE MOST embarrassing things I've ever shared. And I don't get embarrassed very easily. Usually not at all. So this is hard for me. So, if you're uninterested in the story and just wanna see my fat picture, you can just scroll to the bottom (jerk) :) Just kidding...
Imagine this scenario: "Hey honey. I love you. *Small talk* Small talk* Avoidance chatter* Oh, and by the way, SURPRISE!!! I signed us up for a 10 week fitness challenge at Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping. It's 6 days a week for 10 weeks at 6:15 in the morning.............." That was paraphrased from the actual conversation. And the minute it left my lips, the words I spoke matched the doubting and confused look Paul was giving me. I was certain about the decision until I vocalized it to Paul. And then told him the cost.
Exhale.
But here's the thing. I wanted to do something challenging and rewarding this summer with Paul, somewhat in a way to celebrate our marriage....because that's exactly what our marriage has been. Anyone that's been married for any amount of time understands that. It's HARD WORK, but the reward for it all is something unexplainable. And to me, this kind of symbolized our marriage. Besides that, I was tired. I was tired of making excuses for why I wasn't happy with how I looked or why I didn't have the energy to do things I wanted to do and BLAH BLAH BLAH! I wasn't happy. Not with myself, mostly, which consequently and inevitably filtered into my life with my family. And it needed to change. It wasn't even a physical insecurity thing for me so much as it was the reminder that I wasn't treating the body God gave me with proper respect. Stress, coupled with multiple other emotional "imbalances" continued to just slowly take me further and further down and I was starting to get to that point when I didn't care anymore. I hated that.
So, we signed up. I literally used every penny I had saved in the last couple of months with my coffee shop paychecks (which was supposed to be used to have a SUPER fun summer with the kids...) and we signed our unfit lives away. For ten committed weeks.
Initially, I had signed us up because I knew it would be a killer workout. I had seen pictures and posts from a few friends who have gone through the 10 week challenge before. What I didn't know, however, is how all-inclusive this thing was. It wasn't just a workout, it was nutritional training and coaching. We had to log our food, every thing we ate and drank. "You bite it, you write it". And we would get feedback and advise on what we should change about what we were eating. We had team accountability and fitness testing at the beginning, 5 weeks in and at the end (tomorrow actually). Many things began to change in me over the course of ten weeks...
I started eating breakfast every day. And HUGE ones!
I started going to bed earlier.
I quit getting on the scale.
We ate an ungodly amount of eggs and Greek yogurt.
I started eating 500 more daily calories than I thought I needed to lose weight.
I stopped wanting to lose weight and focused on shaping my body and toning.
I learned how to pair proteins and carbs together.
I rewarded myself 1x a week and ate whatever (and I mean WHATEVER I wanted....)
I recognized social eating habits.
I drank a gazillion gallons of water. And peed a lot.
I had morning time, quality time, with my husband.
I learned how you get stronger by forcing yourself to fail (muscle failure) :)
I met new friends and learned the value of accountability and encouragement.
I've been sore for 10 weeks straight....and I love it.
I could continue to list things, but won't. But I do know this.....it's a good sign when I was running around the track and I had to stop, not because I was out of breath, but because my shorts were falling off. And it's a great feeling to try on clothes with a size I never thought I would fit into again, and they fit, almost loosely. And it's the best feeling to commit to something difficult, challenging and seemingly impossible with my husband and to accomplish it, together.
So, here's to the end of our 10 week challenge at Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping.
Here's to the end of an excuse-filled life and living life at Level 10!!!
And unfortunately, here's to the embarrassing before and after pics, from 10 weeks ago until today.
Be gentle. (But let's be honest.....the husb looks AMAZING!!!!)
Oh, and wish us luck. Tomorrow at our final testing, there is a chance (small as it may be) that one of us could win $1,000..... HOLLA!!!!
Also, what I'm going to share with you today is easily one of THE MOST embarrassing things I've ever shared. And I don't get embarrassed very easily. Usually not at all. So this is hard for me. So, if you're uninterested in the story and just wanna see my fat picture, you can just scroll to the bottom (jerk) :) Just kidding...
Imagine this scenario: "Hey honey. I love you. *Small talk* Small talk* Avoidance chatter* Oh, and by the way, SURPRISE!!! I signed us up for a 10 week fitness challenge at Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping. It's 6 days a week for 10 weeks at 6:15 in the morning.............." That was paraphrased from the actual conversation. And the minute it left my lips, the words I spoke matched the doubting and confused look Paul was giving me. I was certain about the decision until I vocalized it to Paul. And then told him the cost.
Exhale.
But here's the thing. I wanted to do something challenging and rewarding this summer with Paul, somewhat in a way to celebrate our marriage....because that's exactly what our marriage has been. Anyone that's been married for any amount of time understands that. It's HARD WORK, but the reward for it all is something unexplainable. And to me, this kind of symbolized our marriage. Besides that, I was tired. I was tired of making excuses for why I wasn't happy with how I looked or why I didn't have the energy to do things I wanted to do and BLAH BLAH BLAH! I wasn't happy. Not with myself, mostly, which consequently and inevitably filtered into my life with my family. And it needed to change. It wasn't even a physical insecurity thing for me so much as it was the reminder that I wasn't treating the body God gave me with proper respect. Stress, coupled with multiple other emotional "imbalances" continued to just slowly take me further and further down and I was starting to get to that point when I didn't care anymore. I hated that.
So, we signed up. I literally used every penny I had saved in the last couple of months with my coffee shop paychecks (which was supposed to be used to have a SUPER fun summer with the kids...) and we signed our unfit lives away. For ten committed weeks.
Initially, I had signed us up because I knew it would be a killer workout. I had seen pictures and posts from a few friends who have gone through the 10 week challenge before. What I didn't know, however, is how all-inclusive this thing was. It wasn't just a workout, it was nutritional training and coaching. We had to log our food, every thing we ate and drank. "You bite it, you write it". And we would get feedback and advise on what we should change about what we were eating. We had team accountability and fitness testing at the beginning, 5 weeks in and at the end (tomorrow actually). Many things began to change in me over the course of ten weeks...
I started eating breakfast every day. And HUGE ones!
I started going to bed earlier.
I quit getting on the scale.
We ate an ungodly amount of eggs and Greek yogurt.
I started eating 500 more daily calories than I thought I needed to lose weight.
I stopped wanting to lose weight and focused on shaping my body and toning.
I learned how to pair proteins and carbs together.
I rewarded myself 1x a week and ate whatever (and I mean WHATEVER I wanted....)
I recognized social eating habits.
I drank a gazillion gallons of water. And peed a lot.
I had morning time, quality time, with my husband.
I learned how you get stronger by forcing yourself to fail (muscle failure) :)
I met new friends and learned the value of accountability and encouragement.
I've been sore for 10 weeks straight....and I love it.
I could continue to list things, but won't. But I do know this.....it's a good sign when I was running around the track and I had to stop, not because I was out of breath, but because my shorts were falling off. And it's a great feeling to try on clothes with a size I never thought I would fit into again, and they fit, almost loosely. And it's the best feeling to commit to something difficult, challenging and seemingly impossible with my husband and to accomplish it, together.
So, here's to the end of our 10 week challenge at Farrell's Extreme Body Shaping.
Here's to the end of an excuse-filled life and living life at Level 10!!!
And unfortunately, here's to the embarrassing before and after pics, from 10 weeks ago until today.
Be gentle. (But let's be honest.....the husb looks AMAZING!!!!)
Oh, and wish us luck. Tomorrow at our final testing, there is a chance (small as it may be) that one of us could win $1,000..... HOLLA!!!!
 |
| BEFORE AFTER |
 |
| BEFORE AFTER |
If any one who has read this wants to be a part of the Farrell's Team, I PROMISE you won't be disappointed. Please let me know if you want to take part or if you have any questions. I can't answer most of them, but I know where to send you to get them :)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
Brennan Manning, Well Done. 1934-2013
The Ragamuffin Gospel.
Ruthless Trust.
Abba's Child.
A Furious Longing for God.
The Signature of Jesus.
The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus.
The above 21 words are a few of the titles of books written by my all-time favorite author. Brennan Manning by name. Author by appointed gift. Beloved ragamuffin. Today, he went home to be with Jesus.
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| Brennan Manning 1934-2013 |
Before I read a single word of Brennan's heart, mine searched to know and understand a God full of a grace that I had been taught about, but had yet to experience. Struggling to come to terms with the own darkness and the depths of sin in my own life, I found myself weeping while reading a book, for the first time ever. The title of this book was "Lion and Lamb: The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus." I haven't been the same since.
Reading his book, I experienced something I never had prior. Or if I did, I never fully took the time to appreciate the effect it would have on my life. Brennan wrote very openly about being a Christian, a man of faith, but also about his struggle with alcoholism, pride, lust and accepting that God could love him and accept him with all those weakness surrounding his pursuit of Him. He struggled with self-hatred. With making up lies to protect his self-righteous imposter. With acceptance.
If it was out there to be struggled with, he did. And he talked openly about it in his books. And in his later books, he admits to maybe not even fully being honest about the condition of his spiritual heart in his previous books.
For what felt like the first time in my life, when I read Brennan's books, I felt like it was okay to admit personal struggle in the Christian life. It was okay to wrestle with the belief of truth and the living out of it. And it was okay to allow myself to be accepted by God exactly as I was, not needing to be perfectly polished to be accepted by Him.
"When I am honest, I admit that I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt. I hope and I get discouraged. I love and I have. I feel bad about feeling good. I feel guilty about not feeling guilty. I am trusting and suspicious. I am honest and I still play games." (Ragamuffin Gospel)
When reading his books, I almost felt violated. He wrote about things that I had built massive fortresses around my heart to protect from anyone ever knowing. Yet there they were, laid bare for the world to see as if he took pages from my journals and published them for everyone to see how dark I had allowed my heart to become. But wait....this was him. A fellow ragamuffin. Someone broken by their own ability to sin, scared by how easy it came, and desperately longing to know and feel that there was a smidgen of grace left in the heart of God to say "Come on back, prodigal. I'm still here waiting for you."
"For those who feel their lives are a grave disappointment to God, it requires enormous trust and reckless, raging confidence to accept that the love of Christ knows no shadow of alteration or change. When Jesus said 'Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy burdened', He assumed we would grow weary, discouraged and disheartened along the way. This is a touching testimony to the genuine humanness of Jesus. He had no romantic notion of the cost of discipleship. He knew that following Him would be as unsentimental as duty, as demanding as love. He knew that physical pain, the loss of loved ones, failure, loneliness, rejection, abandonment and betrayal would sap our spirits, that the day would come when faith would no longer offer any drive, reassurance or comfort; that prayer would lack any sense of reality or progress...."
Whoa. That's real talk, right there, Brennan. That's not the stuff I was used to hearing. I always expected myself to be a warrior of faith, but now here he was, writing about the child underneath the armor, scared and lonely and unprepared for the battle I knew nothing about. Real life battles that yes, even Christians fight. Real life sins that, yes, even Christians wrestle with. Real life garbage that, yes...I was trying to sort through in my own putrid life.
Sorting through my feelings and thoughts of shame, regret, grace and forgiveness and what it all meant, I was met overwhelmingly with the obstacle of wanting to hide it all. When sin is exposed and you are consequently the subject of gossip and the punchline of jokes, even in Christian circles, the fear of judgment from others is a debilitating thing. I've been there. I'm not quite sure I've recovered from that road, either. There are many times I tip-toe around, hoping people don't learn about my past or shrinking back into myself when I hear them discuss the same sins in other people. I pray, even when I smell the stench of judgment coming from my own mind, "Lord, please never let me forget where I came from and the amount of grace I needed to come out from that place." Part of my recovery and ability to come to terms with my sinfulness came because of Brennan's books and his willingness to talk about his own clenched fists and weak heart. He offered me the permission to heal.
"Healing becomes the opportunity to pass off to another human being what I have received from the Lord Jesus. Namely, His unconditional acceptance of me as I am, not as I should be. He loves me whether in a state of grace or disgrace, whether I live up to the lofty expectations of His gospel or I don't. He comes to me where I live and loves me AS I AM....Will we let the healing power of the risen Jesus flow through us to reach and touch others, so that they may dream and fight and bear and run where the brave dare not go?"
Be daring enough to be different, humble enough to admit mistakes, wild enough to be burnt by the fire of love and real enough to make others see how phony you are."
RIP Brennan Manning. 1934-2013. Well done.
As I Am.
Hmmmm.....that would be a cool tattoo.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
A Bad Food, Self-Imposed Intervention
This actually happened.
So, we made an impromptu, albeit not official, decision to start eating better. I know this has been needed for quite some time but have been avoiding it and making excuses for just as long. Cold weather, time, womanly issues, you name it. I've found a reason not to make it happen.
Last week, the very next day after making the decision with Paul, I was confronted almost immediately with a challenge. And I failed. I had taken the kids to McDonalds because it was one of those on-the-go, non-stop days. We had little food in the house (and by that, you know I mean there was little food in there that I wanted to put up the effort to make or bribe my kids into eating). So, I took them to McDonald's. I won't even tell you what each kid ate. I do draw the line with how much I allow you to judge me :) Wait, that's not even the worst part.
We get home, the kids dig in, rush to get homework done, we watch some basketball and all that other stuff that borders on complete parental irresponsibility on my part. Guilty. Still, not such a bad story....
So, as I was cleaning up the McDonald's wrappers, so lazy that I didn't even take the time to put their food on actual plates, I noticed TJ stayed true to his eating form and left a small remnant of his sandwich uneaten. I was so hungry and it looked so good. SO good!!! And it's not even a kind of sandwich that I like to eat. I wanted to just eat the rest of it right there, but Paul was helping clean up too, so I couldn't just eat it there in front of him and have him confront my culinary waywardness!!!
So, here's the worst part. I'm so embarrassed to admit it but it happened with little to no regret at the time of doing it. I took the wrapper with the food inside, crumpled it up into an easy-to-confiscate ball, put it in my pocket and went into our bedroom....and then our bathroom....and I ate it. I ATE IT! In the dark, nonetheless. I felt like a squirrel gnawing on a hidden nut he just uncovered after a long winter. And then I threw the wrapper away under the sink the bathroom too.
OKAY!!!!!!! There. That's off my chest.
All that to say, I've recognized my need for an intervention from my bad eating. After taking a break from my first attempt at eating right and trying to get back on it, I ate something questionable yesterday and when Paul asked me about it and gave me the dissatisfied look, I actually said "God told me it was okay.....YOLO." So...apparently I have the need for more interventions than just the eating one. I get it.
That's why I've decided to start blogging about this again. Because having people read it and keep me accountable helps me out. And just a few minutes after posting something on Facebook about eating better, I already had a friend step up and offer to be part of an exercise support group for me! *Thanks, Derek! :) I'm not promising perfection, I'm beyond that. But I will be sharing with you some new things I'm trying, where I'm struggling or failing, where I am succeeding and learning and all that comes along with my journey to get back into shape.
The half marathon is just ONE month away. The most I have run so far is 3.28 miles. I use the term "run" loosely. It may have been an over exaggerated walk. I don't know. But I have one month to bust my chops and get into the swing of better and healthier living. So, I'm asking you to come along with me again as I take this journey and tell me your own stories as well.
Let's do this!!!! In parting, I'm leaving you with a pic of today's lunch, compliments of my husband. See you again soon, joy killers.
Friday, February 15, 2013
What Christian music & cleaning an espresso machine taught me...
Usually when I give up something in my life, it takes me a good week or so (or never) to start learning lessons from it. Giving up secular music, while to most it sounds simple and easy, has proven opposite already.
Yesterday was my first day listening to Christian music only. First thing when I walked into work, I noticed one of my friends sitting on a chair with headphones in. He smiled, took off his headphones and just said "Michael Buble." I'm not sure, but I think a small tear welled up in my eye. I love Michael Buble. I can't even write his name without starting to sing his songs.
Something I noticed, which I didn't realize until later in the day, is that I had almost listened to no music at all. That's not really the effect I was hoping to have. And music is such a part of my life, that I found myself in a little bit of a funk. My boss even asked me if I was okay or if Paul and I were fighting. I laughed inside to myself when I thought about it and thought how stupid I would sound if I said, "No, I just miss my music". Jeepers! I found myself trying to talk myself into staying a little bit longer at Mr. Goodcents on my Valentine's date with my son because a good song was playing over the radio there. And I even caught myself bobbin' my head to a beat during a timeout of a college basketball game we were watching together. Sick.
When making my "40 Days House Mix" for Lent on Spotify, I realized just how much "other" music I have on my playlists. It took a little bit of time for me to get my list together to listen to over the next 40 days, both a workout mix and the house mix. That's embarrassing. But after a little bit of work, I've started my list with about 50 songs on one list, and 14 on the other. Big news, yes?
There's something very unique about Christian music that's hard to explain. When I listen to other music, I can truly enjoy the music...the beat, the tune, the lyrics, the feel...just all of it is interesting to me. I can hear a good song and appreciate it to it's fullest until the next song. But with Christian music, I find myself wanting to replay one song over and over. And when I finally allow myself to go to the next song, I listen to that one over and over again.
Christian music, to me, is much the same as the Christian life. The secular music can be good and fun and enjoyable but at the end of the day, it's just music. Christian music, on the other hand, is inspiring. It's life changing. When I hear someone sing about what God has done in their life, how He has changed them, redeemed them, or how they don't know how to live the Christian life they want to, I can relate to it and I find it fulfilling in my soul, not just in my ears and mind.
I had an unexpected blessing today to be able to stay home with my son who's sick. I took the opportunity to spend some time cleaning. There's one thing I always do when I clean, something my sister and I used to always do together when we would clean. Turn on all the lights in the house and crank the music. With each room that gets cleaned, the light gets to get shut off. So that's what I did today. And I was jamming out to some amazing Christian music today.
I was cleaning so furiously that I even tore apart my espresso machine at home and cleaned it up. Scrubbed it. As I am cleaning the water drainage bin, I smiled when I saw a sign that said "Empty me"...it shows up when it's full of water and it's time to be emptied. After that, I saw a red light illuminated on the machine, letting me know that it was time to clean the portafilter. "Clean me" is what is written above the light. I don't need to give up caffeine to get the message that my music and espresso machine has already taught me during this Lent season.
Why am I listening only to Christian music? For no other reason:
GOD, EMPTY ME.
FATHER, CLEAN ME.
When distracted by the messages of the world, what God is trying to say to me is muffled and what He is trying to teach me is blurred. When I am empty and clean (and focused), the word of God for my life finds so much more clarity in my mind. So, for today, I'm sharing a YouTube video of Jeremy Camp performing Live "Empty Me". Fitting, huh? Check it out here if you wanna.
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