The above photos are just three from Paul. The first are girls in Silguri, I believe. The second is Paul with the girls and women of Princess Home in Nepal, the rescue home for girls who have been sold into prostitution or sex trafficking. The third is Paul with three of the boys from Hesed Home in Bangladesh. The one on the right in the yellow shirt is Chingmi, who took an immediate liking to Paul (and my camera).
I just got off Skype with Paul. Though enjoyable to be able to talk to him and see him via video chat from around the world, it does make me miss him terribly. The past couple days have been a little bit more difficult in many respects. I've realized how much I talk to him when I have a bad day; how much I seek his advice when I get myself into a bind; how much I look forward to a silly match of ping pong at the end of the night; how much I just want to tell him about my day and things that happened...how much better he makes me and my life.
I thought I would update everyone a little bit as to what is going on over in Nepal. Paul is, unquestionably, on emotional overload. One of the more emotional conversations we've had took place earlier this afternoon. They had visited a place called Pashupati, where they excercise Hindu cremations 24 hours a day. They ran into a girl there, who they spoke to for awhile as they showed her photos on Paul's laptop of Peace Children's Home. She wanted to go to school. She wouldn't accept any money. And when they left, Paul said she blew them kisses.
Paul said the culture there is "relentless". Everywhere he looks, he says there is pain...from street kids sniffing glue, to homeless people begging, to lepers decaying and basically just waiting to die. Add to that, a religion of oppression and lack of hope, and you can imagine the spiritual warfare that takes place over there.
I'm not sure what aspect the ministry of Tiny Hands touches the most with me. Initially, it was the sex trafficking and the part they play in setting up the border monitoring stations and rescuing and rehabilitating the women and girls who have been through horrible situations. At the same time, I see the innocence of the children in the photos and I want to, so badly, be a part of giving them hope for their futures. In their world, there is no such word as "hope". They live life how it is given to them and somehow, in the middle of it all, we see them smiling.
Admittedly, I have had a very difficult week. Ask me to my face, and I will tell you I'm fine. But it is in these hours in the evenings when I just long to be with Paul...not via email or video chat, but to hear his voice and feel the touch of his hand and the power his eyes have to put me at rest. Often times in the morning while I am still sleeping and he has gotten up and showered, he will wake me up by putting his dirty underwear on my head. I even miss that :) I feel very fortunate to have a husband like Paul. There is nothing more attractive, nor anything that instills a deep respect in me, than a man willing to serve others; to sacrifice his own comforts in order to give.
One of my favorite customers at Scooters came in today while I was there. Tony is his name. I will look at the clock in anticipation to make him his mocha smoothie at 3:15pm. Earlier in the day, four of the regular attorney's came in and I had a conversation with them about politics and law. The funny thing is that, when I got home, I couldn't wait to tell Paul about it. I can't wait to show him my running shoes I got. I can't wait to watch a movie with him on the lovesac downstairs. I can't wait to make him a decaf mocha with whip cream. I can't wait to feel his hug when he listens to the ways I've screwed up, and comfort me. I can't wait to look in his eyes and get lost in how lucky I am to have him. Everything I do has Paul shadowed in it. Every decision I make, every conversation I have, every night I tuck the kids in, every couple I see...Paul is in it all. So yeah, I'm not gonna lie...I'm aching. Struggling. Very lonely. Next week is going to be worse, as he will not have internet access from Monday through probably Thursday or Friday.....
*tear*
Okay, I'm going to pop in a movie to cheer myself up a bit; most likely it will be a Rush Hour movie...I heard the people in the background of the hotel lobby speaking Nepalese (basically a version of Chinese) and Paul and I were laughing at their dialect. I said to him "I saw Godzilla and ya'll were TRIPPIN!!!"...a movie line from that movie...and I heard him laugh! I can't wait to have him home!
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