I've been sick since November. Not with the same thing, but with different things.
In mid-November, I passed out in a Kansas Walmart (EXACTLY where I was hoping I would be able to lay lifeless on a floor at some point in my life. Dream fulfilled). This was due to an ovarian cyst rupturing. The pain was indescribable. Ladies, for you who have experienced it, I know you feel me. Note to self: Ovaries SUCK! (Sorry, Mom...) I've had this happen 3 times now, each one getting worse and more painful. I'm morbidly looking forward to the point when it actually protrudes from my uterus and claims the life of innocent bystanders with it's gnashing teeth and sharp talons just so people can get a visual of what I'm actually experiencing inside my body. It's gonna happen, just wait.
Shortly after that, upon the cusp of tremendous excitement of Paul's marine science college buddy, Victor, being in town, I came down with a massive head cold that took me through just after Thanksgiving. I blame this somewhat on me and my inability to accept my fate of having to take pills. I hate pills. I argue with them constantly when I take them until I swallow them and they rest peacefully in my belly and I start to feel better. It's a love hate relationship.
I take you now into December. Good for most of the month, mostly sick on overeating and baking. December 12 rolls around and I'm in the hospital ER with serious abdominal pain. A test here, a poke here, an IV here...and wa-lah!!!
"Gee, it sounds like gallbladder, you have the classic symptoms, but we can't find anything. Let's follow up in a week." (paraphrased)
Um....easy for you to say, but after a $5,000 CAT scan that revealed to me what I already knew, no thank you on the follow up liability visit. (Sorry to you doctors out there....)
From then until December 30, I'm mildly well with nothing too serious to complain about. Certainly nothing to blog about. I was getting excited to go to a New Year's party for the first time since I was like 19 years old, and as luck would have it (or whatever you want to call it), I get sick out of nowhere. Scratch that...it was DEFINITELY sick out of somewhere, places I don't care to describe within a blog format. Relentless, every 10 minutes for 5 hours, I am pretty sure I prayed for death at one point. Beings my spin cycling coach, Mary, IS death personified and she didn't show up at my doorstep, I rested the whole next day and felt good enough to make it through the New Year's party with a weak raise of my glass to ring in 2010.
Present day, present time: Can't eat without catastrophic results. No appetite (for me, this is catastrophic in and of itself). Stomach cramping ranging from left to right to smack dab in the middle, back aches that come and go, constant burping, leg cramps, dry mouth, extreme nausea to the point of having to close my ears and sing "La la la" like a stubborn 6 year old when I watch commercials. Today I gagged when I saw a woman's silhouette eating something while waiting in line to pick up the kids.
Kids out of school, hungry. Me, nauseous after the silhouette ordeal. Three blocks from school, TJ has to go to the bathroom and Taylyn is begging for food. I'm trying to make it home so I can make record time in the 40 yard dash from my car to the toilet. I decide I can't wait that long so we make a stop at McDonald's. Genius. Apparently the brain functions stop completely when desperation comes into play. I open the door and the waft of the smell of grease and feet nearly knocks me to the floor. I try to not be conspicuous with the old nose-in-the-sweatshirt trick, but my intestines were being ruthless and a tad bit on the irritable side. Sparing details, we're in and out fairly quickly and now I'm at home with a doctor appointment set for tomorrow to try to figure out what in the world is going on with this civil war within my body.
Welcoming all advice, suggestions and antidotes....
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