Naked Natasha

I never had names for my fingers before. Well, unless you count the preschool song I learned when I was four...you know, when I was introduced to Thumbkin and Ringy and would giggle with the other kids when we would put up our middle finger and sing about it's name. But never before have I had an actual people name for my fingers.

But today, I gave myself one. It's Natasha. Let me introduce you to her. Yes, by default, she is female even though I think I have ape MAN hands. I don't know why I went to a Russian name. Maybe it's a hidden alter ego that my finger has and has only just revealed. I don't know.

Natasha is my ring finger on my left hand. You know, the one that almost every woman dreams about adorning someday with a nice ring that tells the world that we're spoken for. I used to have a ring on Natasha. But now......now, she's naked. Shame on her.

Okay, long story short. I lost my wedding ring. I take it off often at home because I am not really a jewelry-wearing person in the first place. That, and I have a lotion obsession and am always putting lotion on my hands, so the ring can get dirty fast at times. I took it off at night when we got home from a dinner and the next morning when I went to get dressed and leave the house, I couldn't find it ANYWHERE.  I looked for a good hour and back tracked every place it could have been or where it could have fallen. I went through trash cans (gag!) and upturned my entire room trying to look for it. At one point, I thought maybe Paul had taken it and was going to get me something secretly for Christmas. But then I thought, no....he knows me well enough to know that that would not be something that would mean all that much to me....so I kept looking. And I've been looking for the the past 2+ days.



But here's the funny part of this, if you can find a funny side to it.

Have you ever lost something and told people about it and they proceed to tell you where to look? I am getting the biggest kick out of this today when I told multiple coffee shop customers about it.

Customer #1: "Well, have you looked UNDER your dresser? Because it could have fallen behind it or under it?"

Me thinking..."Gee, the thought never occurred to me to look in the most obvious place that it would be. Thanks!"

Customer #2: "Where was the last place you saw it?"

Me thinking..."Is this really the logic we're going to use? Because if it is, I'm not serving you coffee. Had I known the last place I saw it, it wouldn't be lost now, would it?"

Customer #3: "Did you look in your pockets?"

Me thinking... Actually, not thinking at all....just blank staring back at them and trying to forgive myself for bringing up the story in the first place. Small talk sometimes comes (insert Rumplestiltskin voice here) "with a price"... and then thinking "Please, for the love of everything sacred, go find your seat and stop giving me ideas of where to look before I unleash my immaturity on you and sarcastically respond to your nonsense...

Customer #4:..."You know what it means when you lose your wedding ring, don't you? It's time for you to get a new man." (She's an ornery little old lady, this one) Hehe!

I understand people are trying to help, maybe even offer some empathy for my situation. I'd probably be equally as amused if I would tell them I lost my wedding ring, and they would just look at me and say "Darn. That stinks" or "Well, why don't you take better care of your biniss!!!" Either way, my ring is still lost and Natasha is still naked.

I do believe whole-heartedly I will find it someday, hopefully sooner than later. And then it will all come back to me why it was where it is. And I may owe someone who offered obvious advice an apology. Until then, I will keep telling my coffee shop customers my story and see how they respond.