Tell MY Story?

I don't think God speaks audibly to people anymore. I don't have any theological or Biblical doctrine to either back that up or not, it's just simply my opinion. But when I woke up this morning, I felt like God told me something. And it was pretty clear. Clear enough that I remember I woke up at exactly 5:34am when it came to me.

What I understood and felt God was communicating to me was this: Tell your story.

I have a tendency to have a lot of things in my head that never make it to my blog or to a conversation. I keep it safe within my head. I tend to talk myself into believing that what I say or want to say doesn't really matter to anyone but me, so I lock it up. But there's a storyline unfolding within my mind every single day that continues to build, but it's never told...a story 33 years in the making now.

To tell my story is a very scary task to me, especially as a Christian person working in ministry. As I said to a church in North Carolina last week when they asked what excited me about working in missions, "I often feel as though I'm the most flawed 'missionary' there is." I don't have a squeaky clean past where I've always walked the straight and narrow, even as a Christian. I know full well how it feels to fail and disappoint others. It happens a lot. So it's hard for me to believe that my story, whatever part of it I'm being prompted to tell, merits any benefit to anyone who may hear or read.

The ironic thing after talking to the church in North Carolina is that I was approached by a surprising number of people afterwards who thanked me for my humility, transparency and authenticity. Perhaps there are more "flawed" people out there who are afraid to admit it within our Christian circles. What if my story does and can, in fact, have an impact on others?

I suppose we'll see. In the meantime, I am trying to maintain an open heart and mind to how it is that God will use me. I'm all ears.