Sunday, May 27, 2012

What Have I Got To Lose?


I don’t know what got in to me today. I knew it was going to be very hot, humid and windy. I knew my body was tired. Yet, when it came closer to mid-day, I decided I needed to run while I had the “time” to. Translation: I knew Paul was going to be working in the yard and could be home with the kids. It was my chance to run again after neglecting to the past couple of days. 
Every time I run, I never know what route I’m going to take. It depends completely upon my first half mile if I decide to do a short run and stay in the neighborhood, if I want to run on the outskirts of the hood or break outside the boundaries and push myself. Today, after the first mile, I felt awesome so I went the route to push myself a little bit further.
By the time I was 2 miles into my run and still running away from home with no shade, hot pavement and a water bottle almost already depleted and warm, I figured I better make a stop at a nearby lake where I know there are drinking fountains, fill up and walk a little ways. A little ways ended up being my entire next mile, just walking and listening to my music. And it wasn’t getting any cooler. The only breeze that I felt was what felt like hot breath being breathed on me by my dogs, minus the stink.
Just when I was getting ready to start running again, a song by Third Day came over my headphones and a cool breeze hit me from nowhere. I had just crossed a bridge on the lake and was about to head up the dam to run on the top of the hill on my way back home.  I stopped to catch my breath one last time and decided to take this picture.


I don’t know if it was the color of the grasses or heat exhaustion, but when I looked up to take the picture, all I could see was an outline of a cross. And I don’t think it was by a coincidence that a song started to play that wasn’t even on my playlist. Even after I got home to find it, I had to search for it...it simply wasn’t in my playlist. However it happened, it happened. And it was a unique experience for me. I can’t even remember ever hearing the song before today. I definitely won’t forget hearing it now. 




The song: What Have You Got To Lose by Third Day.
The lyrics are as follows:
“Sin and shame, guilt and pain,
Pride and your conceit,
Here and now, lay them down,
At the Savior’s feet.
What have you got to lose?
What have you got to lose?
And tell me why you’re so afraid.
What have you got to lose?
What have you got to lose?
Think of all you have to gain.
Hopes and dreams & all the things
You have ever made
They don’t mean much if in the end
You have lost your way.
Let go of all you know
Only then can life be found
Surrender all you hold
Lay it down, lay it down, lay it down....”      
After I listened to the song the first time through, I hit repeat and listened again, this time with hands in the air in complete worship, a moment I was not expecting but certainly found easy to embrace....a time to pray, to examine my heart, to praise God for the work He’s done in my life and continues to do....just an awesome time of personal communion with God. I know to some that may sound weird. But it was personal and it was moving, and I just wanted to share it. 
It’s a pretty amazing thing when God opens my heart enough to recognize His “whispers”, His little reminders to me, that running is a time of great reflection, thanks, prayer....so much more than just exercise. It’s a cleansing of my heart and mind, time away from distractions when I have more freedom to let myself listen, a time to let down my walls of disbelief and doubt and believe that God keeps His promises, that He can make something out of nothing....that He can use even me....messed up me...to carry out His will and show His love to others. 
Today, running became something even greater to me, a reminder of God’s faithfulness to me and that, without Him, I have EVERYTHING to lose.

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